Am I just making this up or is it really happening?

As I age it seems my bones get bigger,

Do they now hold more blood?

They say the universe is ever expanding stretching infinitely in all directions,

Is there now room for more stardust?

And the pace of electrons inside the superconductor

Do they go faster and faster?

Theses days when I pick up the local paper

And read about flash floods and car wrecks and weddings

I see myself into each situation, each upswell in time calls itself to me.


The lights of the city sprawl spill out into the desert in ever expanding orbits.

And it takes me longer and longer to get out beyond the edge…

Of anything and, on the flip-side, all the years of scanning my inner landscape, alternately expanding and contracting and retaining my breath,

all this searching for epi-center has been for naught. Where I once had to fly to India to feel more myself, today I lie on the living room floor, with the hum of the refridgerator behind me, and feel the tiniest tug of connective tissue, listen to the echo of a pulse in the back of my ears  and in doing so, feel that is as much, more than enough,

as I could ever have dreamed. 



Then I catch myself creating text with me as the central character

And I ask myself, “Am I just making this up or is it really happening?”


On Learning to Love Loss

On Learning to Love Loss

We have now come to a turning point in what feels to be a long long fade — a kind of toboggan slide downward— as my mom continues to lose her bearings and now, according to the staff around her, needs to be placed in another facility with full time nursing care around her. I can recall my mom standing on one leg in the kitchen years ago drinking bancha tea.

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Recommended Documentary of the Month

Recommended Documentary of the Month

Surya and I just watched the Aug 9, 2022 Frontline special ‘Afghanistan Undercover’,  a PBS documentary directed by the amazing Iranian journalist Ramita Navai. After the U.S exited the country one year ago, the Taliban in Afghanistan have pulled the human rights rug right out from underneath women in that society. It reveals just how devastating and exploitive fundamentalist religion can be and, when mixed with male domination, leaves women vulnerable to neglect and abuse.

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Caring for an Aging Loved One

Caring for an Aging Loved One

Following my last entry in which I shared some reflections of my time with my 88 year old mother who suffers from dementiaI was pleased to hear back from some of you who shared your experiences attending to an aged parent. There are just so many trials and tribulations in witnessing the deterioration of the body-mind of someone we cherish.

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