Like in music sometimes there is harmony, sometimes there is dissonance. Our lives should flow like a piece of music and our mind and heart must be ready to embrace high notes and low notes and all the range of experience in between. If we reject the times when things feel incongruent, then we end up feeling restless, impatient and intolerant. This restlessness turns into a mindless longing for something better, something different than what is. Restlessness is one of the five hindrances in the Buddha-dharma. So to allow the music of our lives to flow we must allow things to take on their own expression, to evolve in the way that they must evolve. An attitude of non-judgement is essential to let the Way flow freely. If the way can flow freely then it is as if we are listening to the music of our life, sometimes discordant, sometimes melodious. Either way it is music and we should enjoy what we hear….
We have now come to a turning point in what feels to be a long long fade — a kind of toboggan slide downward— as my mom continues to lose her bearings and now, according to the staff around her, needs to be placed in another facility with full time nursing care around her. I can recall my mom standing on one leg in the kitchen years ago drinking bancha tea.